So, what was it that finally worked for me? What was the magic bullet that finally took down my meth dragon? Well, at first it was fear, which later turned to anger, which later turned to inward reflection.

One day, after a bit of a meth bender, I came back to my other stomping grounds and this young homeless man with a very violent temperament took something I said way out of context and started threatening my life, which enacted the fear mechanisms in my brain to say, “what the actual F@ck.”

At this point, I had just about had enough of it, but I was not completely done with my usage just yet. I did do one thing right though, I called my aunt and got off the street for about six months while I somewhat leveled out and started to think a little bit straighter.

I pretty much did absolutely nothing during this six-month period other than watch TV and become a burden for my aunt. She accepted me as her burden and did it lovingly and willingly, but I knew deep down that she shouldn’t have to. I was a grown man and yes, I had faced many hardships, but the harsh reality was that I knew I was better than this and I knew that I was meant for and capable of much, much more.

I have rarely ever been easy on myself, and this was no exception. I was not going to let myself off that easily and just lie around and be miserable and mooch off of my aunt who was working excruciatingly hard and long hours, while I sat and laid in her house doing very little other than eating her food and feeling sorry for myself. (I did do some stuff like dishes and the yard and stuff like that but trust me it did not feel like much or enough.)

After about six months of this slow agonizing attempt at recovery, I decided to leave and have one last hoorah. I walked several miles before catching a bus to my old stomping grounds where I knew I could find some meth and start using again.

I smoked a big bowl of meth and then I started to really, really reflect on where I was and how I did not want to be stuck in this situation. So, I spent the night on the street and then I went the next morning to check myself into the local homeless shelter where I knew they had a recovery program for addicts. I felt like this was my one shot and basically my last hope at getting my life back.

I spent the next nine months of my life going through the program and really taking some inventory of my life. I took the recovery program very seriously and I did not hinge my recovery on anyone else in the program, I was in it for me, and I saw plenty of people I had befriended come and go. The keys to recovery for me were: 1. not becoming codependent on anyone in the program. 2. thinking and knowing that this was truly and potentially a fight for my life. 3. realizing and knowing that I was a better person than I had been.

First and foremost, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew what I was capable of I just needed a jump start to get me going on my journey again. The recovery program at City Rescue Mission gave me the hope that I needed to turn my life around and I truly owe my current and future successes to the City Rescue Mission. Without them and their kindness and support there is honestly no telling where I would be, but the likely scenarios are not ideal to say the least.

A recovery program is only as effective as a person allows it to be. It would have been very easy for me to have walked out at any time (and trust me I thought about it several times), especially in the first few weeks that was when it was the toughest. Regardless, I stuck it out and I gave the program the opportunity that it needed to make a difference.

To the addict I would say, “remember who you were, remember who you wanted to be, and know that you still are that person and still can be the person you always dreamed of being.” What does that mean? Simply put, you did not start out as an addict even if one of or both of your parents were addicts. Sure, you may have been born addicted to a substance at birth and had to be medically weaned off of it, but for several years after that I bet you had no idea. So, you were not always an addict, but at some point, you made a conscious choice to embrace the habits of an addict.

Now at this point, you can make a conscious effort to remember and become again the person you were before the addiction to drugs or alcohol or whatever your addiction may be took over your life and started controlling you. A little bit of tough love here, if you think you are in control of your habit or addiction, I promise you, you are not and if you really truly believe you are then you are 100% absolutely delusional. There is hope though and you can gain control of your life again, but you must let go of the addiction or the habit.

It is true what they say, at some point, you will trade your current addiction for another one. So, when this happens and it will, decide to choose something healthy to replace it. Like for example, I love to create art through the medium of painting, I have also started to read again, and obviously I have created this website to plant some seeds of encouragement to help others start bearing good fruit like I now am.

The road to recovery is not always easy, but in the end, it is worth it without a doubt. I feel more alive and more vibrant than I ever did before. No drug, no substance, nothing could really bring me the joy and peace that I feel especially right now as I am writing this and knowing that this has the chance to truly change someone’s life. If you are struggling right now and trying to figure out your next move, talk to someone, seek help, seek treatment and know that you are better than your current circumstances. You are loved, You are valuable, and You are worth it!

To the loved one of an addict, who is at the end of their rope and not sure what to do or how to help. Number one, stop enabling them plain and simple. If you have already moved past that step then, number two is stop babying them. Take off the kid gloves and give it to them straightforward because I promise you if the tough love does not kill them (and it likely will not) then the lack of trying will. By not giving it to them straightforward with love and conviction it could honestly be as deadly as giving up on them entirely.

They are not a lost cause, and they are worth fighting for even if only at a distance. They do not need your money even though they may want it, but what they do need is for you to care and to believe that their recovery is possible. Remind them of who they were and remind them of their hopes and dreams and give them something to fight for to strive towards. Deep down inside of every person is a drive and a desire to do something great, but sometimes along the way life has ways of knocking people off of their path to greatness and some people just need a little nudge or maybe even a swift kick in the pants to get them back on that path.

Remember the addict was not always the nuisance they may have become, so consider the things that drove them to the place they ended up. Maybe they would benefit from meeting with a grief counselor to unload some things that they have been keeping bottled up. Maybe they need to be checked into a mental health facility or maybe even just taken to an outpatient mental health center. The big thing that they need though is at least one person who refuses to give up on them and who will give it them straight, but with love.

I am not a mental health professional, but I am someone who has plenty of experience dealing with everything I am writing about, so take my advice or don’t take my advice, but just know that someone cares about you, and someone has made it through to the other side. You are not your worst day, you are not your current situation, you are not even your worst decision, but you will be remembered for the sum total of all of these things and more. So, start today planting some good seeds that will turn into some great fruit and do your best to live every day giving more than you take away.

Peace be with you and may it follow you all the days of your life. Go and bear good fruit and be prosperous. May your journey be blessed with prosperity and abundance, and may you live a life of gratitude and thankfulness for all the things that you have been granted stewardship of. Life is amazing and so are you!